maja_li

Title: SPLAT
Pairing: Al/Scorpius
Rating: G
Word count: 396
Warnings: crossover with Men In Black, featuring silliness and housewife!Scorpius
Disclaimer: Scorpius & co. belong to JKR. Men In Black belongs to...I have no idea, actually, because movie rights are damn tangled, but anyway it's not me. XD
Summary: Al's Wand 1, Giant Cockroach Aliens 0
A/N: Written for

awdt's Halloween Quickie #1, the moonlit cornfield

It was a beautiful October night. The wind was crisp, the sky was clear, and the moon hung bright and pale as a pearl over the ripe-rustling corn stalks. Farmer Al sighed contentedly and tucked his hands into the pockets of his scuffed-up overalls. All was well.

Nyeeeeeeow-BLAM!

A high-pitched, shrieking whine split the air, and Al's head whipped around just in time for him to see a streak of colored light hurtle through the air before it terminated abruptly and with extreme prejudice near the edge of his field.

"Al? What the bloody hell was that?" Scorpius demanded, poking his head out the screen door. Al frowned and reached for the shotgun propped up on against the porch railing.

"I think maybe you had better stay inside, love--"

"Like hell! And put away that ridiculous Muggle contraption." Scorpius vanished, only to reappear clutching two wands. "I'm not letting you go alone," he said, giving Al his wand with a hand that only trembled a little. Al smiled.

"I'm sure it's nothing."

"Uh-huh. Sure."

They approached the smoking crater slowly, and Al peered in. Scorpius, peeking over his shoulder, gave a sudden gasp.

"Circe's tits! Is that--?"

He darted forward, nearly toppling over the edge in his haste. Al groaned and started to suggest to his Ravenclaw boyfriend that perhaps investigating the smoking wreckage of an alien ship whilst wearing a periwinkle blue nightgown and hair curlers wasn't the brightest idea, but--

"RAAAAAAWRGH!!!!"

"Aieee!"

Scorpius shrieked and stumbled backwards as something exploded from the shadows inside the crater. It must have been seven feet long, mandibles slavering and yellow eyes glittering with malevolence as it hurled itself toward Scorpius on six chitin-sheathed legs. Al didn't even need to think.

"Reducto!"

Fwoomp.

With a dull thump like a grapefruit dropped from a tenth story window, the creature exploded into a fine mist. Pink goo splattered down on everything in a six yard radius, including Al--and Scorpius, flat on his back at his feet.

"What. The bloody hell. Was that?" he repeated, staring wide-eyed up at Al. Al shook his head and pulled Scorpius to his feet, spelling them both clean.

"I've got no idea. Let's hope there was only one..."

"Hmph. And you said moving to Montana would be peaceful," Scorpius grumped, and then paused. "Gosh."

"What?"

"Imagine if you'd only had the shotgun."