Cheese!

[maja_li]

Title: Cheese
Beta: The incomparable smirking_muse and the lovely utteramusement
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Rating: PG
Wordcount: ~3,000
Warnings: Utter fluff and ridiculousness. You've been warned!
Disclaimer: Harry&co. belong to JKR. Not me.
Summary: Harry has a mouse in his house. Hermione knows Draco. Ron is oblivious. People are interrupted.
A/N: Please don't kill me when you get to the end...*hides under covers* Also: ten points to whoever gets how Journey to the West influenced this ^_~




The first time he saw the mouse, Harry barely paid any attention to it. There had been a great many things in the Cupboard worse than a fluffy white rodent with moist grey eyes and adorably huge ears—so when it skittered across his living room floor early on a Sunday morning, Harry blinked, shrugged, and wondered if he ought to buy cheese. Then he went into the kitchen and, over breakfast, promptly forgot the entire incident.

* * *

He didn't remember the mouse until he returned from the grocery store on Monday afternoon (still cheeseless, except for the cheap pre-sliced kind that Ron sometimes put on his pickle sandwiches) to see the white mouse sniffing around the base of his wardrobe, squeaking and skritching at the bottom drawer.

"Hey, hey!" Harry dumped the groceries and hurried forward, quickly Levitating the mouse away and up into his palm. "Trust me, you don't want to go nosing around in there," he said firmly, staring into its wide, bewildered eyes.

The mouse bit him on the thumb.

"Ouch! Bugger," Harry swore as dropped the mouse and watched it dart away, wiping at the spot of blood on the pad of his finger. "Ungrateful, that's what you are!" he called after it, stalking back to the kitchen. "Stupid rodent."

When Ron came home and Harry told him what had happened, his friend blinked, shook his head, and said, "Er…d'you think we ought to get a mouse trap, then? Also, don't tell Hermione because she'll make you take about fifteen potions and try to keep you at St. Mungo's overnight." He held up his left hand, swaddled in bandages, and, at Harry's inquiring look, added, "Got a splinter at work."

"Ah," said Harry, and wondered if Ron would ever get a clue.

* * *

Harry told Hermione anyway. On Tuesday, one of his Muggle assistants cut herself with a pair of pruning shears Harry had once Charmed (the rosebushes had desperately needed a trim, but he had been running late on a large wedding order); he was worried about lingering effects, so after bringing her to the hospital Harry took the shears to Hermione's lab.

"Well, it doesn't seem like they've turned malevolent," she opined after a thorough examination, "though I can't say it's the brightest idea you've ever had. It's not like you to be this careless around the Muggles…"

"I know, I know," Harry groused. "I've just been a bit distracted is all."

"Oh, why? And—oh my goodness, what happened to your hand?"

Harry winced.

"I got bit by a mouse."

"What?!"

Which was how Harry ended up telling Hermione the whole story over tea (for her) and potions (for him, because sometimes Ron was right and having the leading researcher in Magical Contamination as a best friend wasn't always helpful). He hadn't thought she'd take it so seriously, but when he had finished, Hermione was staring at him with a stern, grave expression he hadn't seen in years.

"Harry. I think you need to bring that mouse to the lab."

"What? Are you serious?"

"Completely." Hermione drained her teacup and set it down on its saucer with a soft chink. "Even if it seems innocent…" She trailed off—no doubt caught up in memories of the war—then shook her head briskly. "We both know what you've got in that drawer. Assuming that…creature…is only a mouse is a risk you still can't take. It's a risk you can't ever take."

"It's been almost five years!" Harry protested. "I spent half my life fighting the war, I'm not about to waste the rest of it—"

"It's not a waste!"

Hermione's teacup toppled over and clattered against the table, its leaves scattering in a wide arc.

"Oh, for goodness' sake—" Hermione flushed, her hair spilling into her eyes as she moved to right her cup. "I'm sorry, Harry, it's been a long week and I just—" She stopped abruptly as Harry caught her by the wrist, his gaze fixed on the table.

"I really, really hope you’re wrong about this," he said firmly—and then Disapparated, leaving the tea leaves, which had spread themselves in a sketchy outline of the Dark Mark, to soak into the pale wood.

* * *

Harry went to visit Neville on Wednesday, and found him in Greenhouse 4, surrounded by the Muggle plants that few wizards seemed to find any use for. He'd hoped that the mellow Herbology professor would put the situation in a different perspective, but when Harry told him what had happened, Neville only sighed and told him not to be an idiot.

"It's just Malfoy's wand!" Harry protested.

"No." Neville shook his head. "It's the wand that defeated the Elder Wand. That counts for something—for a great deal, actually. Wands have legacies of their own, Harry; that's why Gran always insisted that I use my dad's wand, even though it never worked right for me." He smiled a bit self-deprecatingly, running a finger along the delicate new leaves of a sprouting bamboo. "At any rate, Hermione's usually right about these things—even when she doesn't want to be."

"But—"

"Oh, come on, Harry, you can't think she's trying to make trouble for you. She almost goes out of her way not to give you advice because she's worried that you'll stop trusting her if she's wrong, like you did after she had your Firebolt confiscated back in third year."

While Harry gaped, more than a little gobsmacked at that bit of old news, Neville stepped forward and gently propelled him out the door.

"Go catch that mouse. And then go out for dinner or something with Hermione and Ron so she knows you're not angry with her."

"Wait, I—"

"Goodbye, Harry."

"…'Bye, Neville."

* * *

On Thursday evening, Ron slept over at Hermione's—Merlin's beard, the man could be as dense as a brick— and Harry had The Nightmare again. He thrashed himself awake fighting the confines of his own sheets, and opened his eyes to the sight of a small, furry, pink-eared face staring down at him from his headboard. He scowled up at the mouse, and got the distinct impression that it was arching an eyebrow at him—or would be, if it had eyebrows to arch. Which was absurd.

"This is all your fault, isn't it?" he accused. The mouse cocked its head, and Harry sighed. "Don't worry, I'm not giving you up to the authorities. Hermione would just put you in a cage and feed you nasty potions all day."

"Chfff," the mouse chuffed at him, twitched its nose, and vanished behind the headboard. Annoyed at his own foolishness, Harry closed his eyes against the dark and waited for morning to come.

* * *

Harry stayed home on Friday instead of running errands like he was supposed to—not that Ron, who had come home slightly bedraggled and with an oddly thoughtful expression on his face, was about to notice. Harry made himself an omelette with bacon, cheese and scallions for lunch, while the mouse nosed around the refrigerator door and watched him wistfully.

"No, you can't have any," Harry said sternly, ignoring its heartfelt squeaking as he opened the refrigerator to put Salisbury's Pre-Sliced Dairy Slices back in their drawer. "It's only good for pickle sandwiches and sometimes omelettes, and it'd probably clog up your insides and give you some sort of horrid—oh, all right!" He caved, half exasperated and half amused, when the mouse laid on paw on his scarlet sock and whimpered at him. He brought his plate to the table, cut off a thumb-sized piece of omelette, and laid it on a napkin on the floor.

"Now, that's all you're getting," he warned, in a vain attempt to re-establish some sort of authority over the situation. "And don't come crying to me if your little rodent arteries clog up, and you die in heart-spasming agony."

The mouse chittered at him, muffled by a mouthful of omelette, and Harry wandered around with a slightly sappy smile for the rest of the day.

* * *

On Saturday, Harry did all the things he should have been doing on Friday, and on his way home stopped at the corner grocery to buy a wedge of Stilton blue cheese and another of brie. The cashier, Jennie, smiled after she rang him up and asked jokingly,

"Bit pricey for a bit of mouse bait, don't you think? Though I suppose the poor thing deserves a nice last meal."

Harry nearly dropped his bag.

"Excuse me?"

"Oh, your friend mentioned it when he was in here this morning, asking Mr. Henckles about where to buy a mouse trap. Said you two were having a bit of a problem—hey! You forgot your cheese!"

Harry burst into the apartment, horrifying visions of sprung steel and decapitated mice dancing in his mind's eye. He saw Ron standing over the sink, his back to the door as he struggled without something in his hands—

"No!" Harry shouted, barreling into Ron and knocking him out of the way with a startled oomph! They both fumbled for the trap—a long, clear cylinder tumbling end over end, the mouse squeaking in panic as it was tossed around within.

Hang on a minute—

"The hell kind of mouse trap is this?" Harry demanded, finally snatching it and holding it up to his face. "Oh, Merlin, it's not got poison gas inside or something, has it?"

"What? Of course not!" Ron looked appalled. "It's a mouse trap, not a screaming chamber of deathly horrors trap!" At Harry's disbelieving look, he continued, "Hermione told me that you'd gone to talk to her about the mouse—all right, she also yelled at me for being an oblivious twit, but really, who gets worried about a mouse? Except Hermione, obviously—and she made me promise that if it wasn't gone by today, I'd catch it while you were out and take it to the lab." At least he had the grace to look abashed that Hermione had been able to bully him into going behind Harry's back.

"But how did you catch him?" Ron shrugged at Harry's obvious confusion.

"I put a bit of Salisbury's Pre-Sliced Dairy Slices inside and left it on the floor, that's all."

"That's all… That can't be right," Harry said, half to himself. "He'd never go for…" He trailed off, giving the trapped mouse a sidelong look. It blinked at him, then went back to nibbling the tip of its tail. Harry sighed. "All right. Let's go see Hermione."

Hermione—unsurprisingly, in retrospect—was not at the lab, or her office down the block. Then it occurred to Harry and Ron that it was Saturday afternoon, and there was only one place to find Hermione on a Saturday afternoon.

"Hermione!"

"Shhhhh!"

"…sorry"

"What is it?" Hermione whispered, Levitating a few books back to their shelves to make room for Harry and Ron at her table. One of the librarians, a lemon-faced old witch with grey felt cats sewn around the brim of her hat, gave them a suspicious look, but turned away at Hermione's cheerful wave.

Ron pulled the mousetrap out of his cloak and laid it on the table. Hermione gasped and immediately started shoving at the remaining books, shielding the trap from view.

"When did you catch that?" she hissed at them. Ron glanced guiltily at Harry before replying.

"An hour or so ago. I was trying to give him something to eat when Harry came home."

"I see. Well, thank you for being mature about the situation." She smiled at Harry, who couldn't help fidgeting in his seat.

"Can we just get this over with?"

"Of course. Let me just take it back to the lab—"

"We're coming with you," Ron interrupted. "Or, I am anyway."

"I'm coming, too," Harry assured him. Both of them looked at Hermione, who gave them her usual long-suffering sigh and stood up.

"If you must, I suppose you must. But you're waiting outside my workroom!"

"Shhhh!"

"Oh, shut up."

* * *

"What is she doing in there?" Ron asked for the fourteenth time, glancing at the workroom door. At first, they had been able to hear Hermione murmuring spells and countercharms, and once the distinctive clanging of a potions cauldron. But for the past few minutes, things had been eerily quiet. Ron had grown steadily more agitated, and even Harry was beginning to consider going to work on the locking spells when—

"Verum Corpus Revelio!"

"Eeeeee—"

Harry looked at Ron. Ron looked at Harry. Then, as one, they bolted toward the door, shouting spells to break it, disintegrate it, Vanish it, anything to get them inside. It held fast—Harry howled something—and then suddenly they were standing in the center of Hermione's workroom, watching as the mouse floated in the air, surrounded by a bubble of blue light

"What did you do to him?" Harry demanded, rounding on Hermione as the shrieking squeal rose and rose.

"It's not anything dangerous!" she protested. "I thought it might be an unregistered Animagus—"

"—eeeeeeeee—"

"Oh, yes, because there are so many of them running around!"

"Merlin's beard…"

Both of them turned to Ron, who was staring at the mouse as it began to swell like a ripe bubotuber pod.

"--EEEEEEEE!"

POP!

The mouse's squealing cut off abruptly as it exploded. Harry jerked away, expecting to be covered in glistening bits of rodent, but there was only a shower of golden sparks that vanished before they touched his skin. Something in the corner of his eye caught Harry's attention, and his hand shot out to snatch it. It was a finger-length strand of blonde hair, a drop of blood still clinging to the tip. Harry cradled it in his palm, unexpected grief welling up in his throat

Hermione stepped forward.

"Harry, may I—"

"No!" Harry stepped sharply backward. "I can't believe you—you killed him! Or worse! There's not even a body…no wonder you wouldn't let Ron and me inside. I never would have given him to you if I'd known you'd do something like this!"

He Disapparated with a sharp crack! Hermione stared at the spot where he had stood, then shook her head.

"Honestly. He's worse than you were with Scabbers."

"Hey!"

* * *

When he got back to the flat, away from the workroom and Hermione, all of Harry's anger and energy drained away. He stumbled blindly into his bedroom and slammed the door, huddling under the covers like he was back at Hogwarts.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered, stroking the hair by the light of a faint Lumos. "I didn't mean for this to happen...for any of it to happen…"

To his surprise, Harry felt his eyes grow hot, his nose stuffing up as tears began to trickle down his cheeks. He let them come, and carefully tucked the hand with the hair alongside his pillow as his misery pulled him down into sleep.

* * *

Early on Sunday morning, Harry woke to the unfamiliar, itchy feeling of someone staring at him. He blinked his eyes open, grimacing because he hadn't brushed his teeth and he felt gritty after sleeping in his street clothes. Above him someone snickered, and Harry tilted his gaze upward to see—

"Malfoy?!"

"In the flesh, Scarhead."

"But how—why—"

"Granger Firecalled me yesterday—I really do need to find out how she knew where to find me, not even the Board of Magical Revenue knows about that villa—nattering on about how you seemed to think she'd murdered me. Though I have to admit, this was not the reaction I was expecting." He arched his eyebrow at the mess of Harry's bedclothes and the splotchy tearstains on Harry's face. Harry snuffled and sat up, not caring that his mouth must be hanging open.

"If you're…" he said slowly. "But then what was…?"

"Oh, this?" Draco leaned down and plucked the hair out of Harry's hand. "It was the anchor for my mouse construct; my eyes and ears, if you will. Really, Potter," he added severely, "I'd expect you to take more precautions with my old wand than leaving it in a drawer with a simple Alohomora."

"Huh?"

"Merlin, Granger wasn't kidding when she said you were a bit thick, was she?"

"Hey!" Harry protested

"Oh, hush, you know it's true. Look, Potter, you—a certified reckless idiot—are in possession of one of the more powerful artifacts in the British Isles. I had to check up to make sure you were taking proper care of it, all right? So I made a…a magic mouse and sent it to investigate for me."

Harry stared up at Draco, feeling oddly disappointed.

"So…you're not an unregistered Animagus?"

"No."

"And you haven't been scuttling around my floorboards for the past week and watching me sleep and nicking bits of my breakfast?"

"Floorboards? Heavens, no. Though I was watching you sleep a few minutes ago. And as for breakfast…well, we haven't had a chance yet, have we? Come along, I'm famished."

Draco started for the bedroom door, only to turn and give Harry a bewildered look when he failed to follow.

"What are you waiting for, a Charmed invitation? I'm sorry to say I only do those for birthdays and weddings."

Harry's smile as he scrambled to his feet was blinding.

-fin-
 

Comments

[reicheruchan.livejournal.com]

aw~~~~

[maja-li.livejournal.com]

LOL, thanks! :)

[brissygirl.livejournal.com]

I read this at work this morning and totally got sucked in! I thought Draco was the mouse!!! LOL *mousey go POP* LMAO (yes I am an idiot!)

Poor Harry thinking Hermione had made Draco explode *pets him* Then having Draco turn up in his room while Harry was still clutching the hair from the fake mouse.

Thanks for the giggles!

[maja-li.livejournal.com]

Haha, I'll admit I was out to get people with that one ;) I'm glad you had so much fun with it!

Thanks for reading ^_^ *hugs*

[tomatoe18.livejournal.com]

Oh my, that's very cute! :D Harry got attached to the mouse because he thought it was Draco? I wibbled a bit when Harry cried over the remains of the mouse, but then Draco showed up and... I was all right again! :D I had fun. So entertaining. I hope there's more! ;)

[maja-li.livejournal.com]

Aw...I'm glad the wibbling didn't last long! ^_~ Thanks for reading, lovely ♥

[monster-o-love.livejournal.com]

So adorable!!!!! I was downright horrified when the little mousey exploded! :O Poor Harry!! And it was so cute that Draco was watching him sleep. Awwwww!!! Such a cute little story, I thoroughly enjoyed it!! :D

[maja-li.livejournal.com]

LOL! I'm glad you liked it, honey *squishes* Thanks for reading!

[dirty-darella.livejournal.com]

That was so sweet! :D
I was scared when I thought poor Draco had been blown up. XD

[maja-li.livejournal.com]

Thanks, darling! :D LOL I'm glad you liked it ^_~ *squishes* ♥

Cheese!

[joan-waterhouse.livejournal.com]

Aww! Cuteness! ^_^

I love that you're back and posting fics again! *hugs-you*

Re: Cheese!

[maja-li.livejournal.com]

Aw, thanks darling *hugs you too* It's good to be back! ♥

[fancypantsdylan.livejournal.com]

awww that was lovely, I was really convinced there for a minute that Draco was the mouse, glad he wasn't though :)

[maja-li.livejournal.com]

LOL! I'll 'fess up, tricking you makes me feel accomplished ^_~ Thanks for reading, lovely--I'm glad you enjoyed! *cuddles*

[smirking-muse.livejournal.com]

This was really great! I thought it was Draco too- so Harry wasn't the only dense one. I absolutely adore how this ended... with promises of breakfast and all. I loved how Harry treated the mouse too; it was so sweet. So wonderful- fabulous job!

[maja-li.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much, sweetie! And for beta'ing it *squishes you silly* I'm so glad you liked how it turned out!! ♥ ♥ ♥

[smirking-muse.livejournal.com]

Hey, no problem. It was a pleasure to read through- I'm still sorry it took me so long to get to (I dropped off the face of the internet for a while and am still having trouble finding the time- after SfN next week, things should get better, thank goodness). Also, I ADORE Pon and Zi- excellent icon. :)

[utteramusement.livejournal.com]

YAY! I may forever mourn checkers but this is still lovely! I love Ron and the mouse trap and Harry buying (or plannin to buy) his mouse some quality expesive cheese.

Draco, even though he's there fo a fairly little amount of time, is amazing! So confident and gorgeous (isn't he always?)

*sigh* I'm just happy! Can't speak anymore, hyper from going out dancing to a gay club! Fun, fun, FUN!

[maja-li.livejournal.com]

LOL! I'm glad you liked it, lovely; thanks so much for the beta! And don't worry about Checkers, he's not gone forever. ^_~

*squishes* ♥

[yanagi-wa.livejournal.com]

*snicker* A magical mouse? Cute.

[maja-li.livejournal.com]

Hee ^_^ Thanks for reading and commenting! ♥

[sugareey.livejournal.com]

Very, very cute! This totally explodes with squeeness!

[maja-li.livejournal.com]

LOL! I'm glad you liked it :D Also: explodes with squeeness is now my official goal for all future fluff ^_~

Thanks for reading, darling! *squishes and cuddles* ♥

[enchanted-jae.livejournal.com]

Ah ha! That was cute. Although I thought Draco was the mouse. Clever that it was a construct. Hee!

[maja-li.livejournal.com]

Haha, it looks like I fooled quite a few people...^_~ I'm glad you liked it, lovely! :D *snuggles* ♥

[faithwood.livejournal.com]

LOL! Harry is adorable. ♥

[maja-li.livejournal.com]

Hee. ^_^ Thank you, my love! Harry says so, too ^_~ *cuddles*

[caramel-pudding.livejournal.com]

aaw <3 Though the bit when the mouse POPed freaked me out a bit. I was like =| ... o.o...T^T but then everything's okay again :D :D

umm...sequel? :D :D

-glomps you-

[maja-li.livejournal.com]

LOL! I ♥ your facial expressions :D I'm glad you liked it so much...thanks for reading! :D

*squishes and cuddles*